The Teen Phase: A Time to be Thankful

By Carmen Glenn

My youngest is about to turn 16 and it’s hard to believe we are already at this stage. As we approach Thanksgiving, I try to remind myself to be thankful for the stage of parenting I’m currently in. I think it’s hard to be grateful when you’re in the trenches, but after you are removed from it you realize there were a lot of positives. It’s just hard to see them when you’re in the thick of it. I’m trying to change my mindset and be more thankful when I’m in it rather than acknowledging the good parts only when I look back on it. I’m learning this is easier said than done.  

With two teenagers living at home in high school and one away at college, I am trying to find the parts of this parenting phase that I am thankful for. I realize I’m on the tail end of having them live under the same roof as me. I came across a stat a few weeks ago that said by the time a child turns 18, a parent has already spent 90-95% of the time you will ever spend with them. It was pretty shocking to read that at first but when I thought about how much time a parent spends with a child in the early years, it makes sense. It’s natural to spend less time with them as they get older and are busier with school, jobs, and friends but it doesn’t necessarily make it easier. This has become more apparent as my youngest starts to experience big milestone life events, but for me, he is my last.  

I’m grateful for the next six months of permit driving with my youngest. I didn’t realize how much time I spent in the car with my older two until they started driving themselves. It’s when the mundane conversations about every day stuff happens as well as them sharing nuggets of themselves and their future. I’ll relish these last months spent with him in the car, even with the harrowing moments of teaching a new driver.  

My middle son is a senior, so although I had a senior last year and went through all the firsts with him, I’m making my best effort at being thankful for having another senior right behind my first. I’m not going to sugarcoat it: the college research, visits and steps needed to apply are a lot of work and can be stressful and overwhelming. Because I know with my oldest how quickly it goes, I’m trying to acknowledge how lucky I am to experience it with him. I’d like to think that I have a little more knowledge and familiarity with the process this time around which is hopefully making it easier on everyone involved.  

This phase too will pass, but despite my teenagers pushing boundaries, testing my patience at times, and giving me looks instead of responses, I will try my best to forge ahead with gratitude that I’m part of their ride. Are you in a similar situation? Share with us how you are experiencing gratitude in the parenting phase you are in by emailing us at dtownctc@gmail.com

Happy Thanksgiving!