PARALLEL LIVES, BRAH
Friendship has been a topic I’ve seen coming up a lot in my phone life—podcast episodes (aside from ours) and Instagram posts. One person I follow, Laura Tremaine, just published a book about the importance of social support and how it’s good to have different kinds of friends for different parts of your life.
As I have consumed this social support content, I couldn’t help but think of the monthly peer parent meetings I attend. Yes, it is a CTC program, but I attend not as a CTC staff member but as an elementary parent looking to talk to other parents that may have similar experiences (like your 4th grader calling you “Brah” at every turn).
I have so looked forward to this meeting each month. The group of parents (in this case all moms, though other groups have dads too) are so kind, open, and relatable. Our facilitator, Carol, guides the conversation and interjects pro advice (she has 30+ years experience working with kids and parents) but we also are able to share other concerns and questions. A lot of the time it’s all of us there helping one another.
“My kid went through that, I found this is what helped us.”
“Here is a book I read that has some great ideas for that.”
Every time I leave a meeting, I feel lighter and in a good mood. I have a literal smile on my face. Sharing with this group is different from calling a friend and venting about my kids behaviors and what to do to deal. I only know these other parents in the context of these meetings, so we now, after 4 months, have a rapport and comfort, but also they don’t know my kids or me outside this group. It’s very freeing and also allows great judgment-free conversations.
I’ve learned we all could probably benefit from friends that serve various purposes as Laura Tremaine says. This group is my “get great advice from fellow parents living a parallel life, share lots of laughs, and get (ahem, free) advice from a seasoned pro”. I’m so thankful for these peer meetings, and the parents that come and share, and a bit sad we are breaking for summer (though we did talk about doing some informal things to stay in touch). Also the groups will meet monthly next year ALL school year–YAY!
Do you have friends that serve specific purposes in your life? I’d love to hear about it! Email me at cdziembowski@dtownctc.org and you can also find more info on our peer parent groups here.